Heading out of Montreal, the plan was to spend a few days with family again, them lay up again by getting the train down to Toronto for the final night as I was flying back from there direct to Glasgow.
As with all plans it didn't quite work out that way and I was running around a bit trying to see everyone before I left, which I didn't quite manage.
I'm conscious that this blog may have left you with a really good impression of Canada so it's probably best that I warn you of some of the problems. You'll have picked up on the heat from reading through, but it's worth mentioning again. It was over 30 degrees more times than I care to remember, so if you like heat you'll love it, but for me, I could not stand outside even in the shade without sweating.
Another fundamental problem is salad. It's hard not to be offered it everywhere. It's not as bad as cheese but can be a bit draining. A typical conversation would go like:
Them (all of them): Would you like some salad?
Me: No thank you.
Them: Go on, it's very good.
Me: No (looking grumpy)
Them: Hmm ok, what about some mayonnaise?
Me: No (getting annoyed)
Them: Are you sure?
Me: Look pal, I just want to pay for my petrol!
This scene was obviously from a petrol station, but it happened everywhere. Nutters, but I guess they mean well.
Another problem is that Health and Safety has gone mad as evidenced by the sign in this picture.
Imagine the scenario where you are rolling up on some fools, but now have to hope they will hang around for two minutes while you assemble and load the weapon, before you blast them.
I just envisage a few practical problems with that so I'm not sure it will work.
Another problem is the animals. To be fair this is not Australia where the deadliest animals sneak up on you by slithering along the ground, or dropping from a silk web, or drag you down from under the water. These ones are right up in your face.
Imagine if you will that you've been told that you're going to a racetrack only to find it's been privately booked for the day. Now you have to hang around for your little sister, who is at a tea party. To top it all off up wanders a polar bear, and he doesn't want to be friends.
At this point it's important to note that I was out of emergency shortbread, but fortunately the bear could sense almost a dozen hyper young girls were about to come pouring into the lobby and decided to leg it.
One of the most common and deadly dangers is biker chicks. Lots have their own bikes and they will roll around on full dress Harleys in denim and leather, but it's not unusual to come back to your unattended bike and find them draped over it.
This gorgeous example is barely eighteen months old, but instinctively knew how to work the throttle. She is going to be so much trouble.
There is also the problem of very small astronauts running around. You rarely notice them until they are right upon you. So there you have it a balanced report. There was a day in Toronto, but when I got back down there the heat had gone up again and it was humid so I mostly hid in the shopping malls or the cinema. Cowboys and Aliens is ok, and Attack the Block is quite funny.
For one last adventure I shunned the $25 dollar convenient airport shuttle to wrestle my luggage along the subway system and then get a bus. It took 15 minutes longer, but only cost $3. Money well saved when I had to pay for the excess baggage at the airport. It would have been much more if they weighed my hand luggage or the bike jacket I'd stuff full of cameras, and external disk drives.
I may try and upload some videos in a future post if I can edit them well enough to be worth watching, but for now I'll leave you with the star of the show.
The Honda Magna V45, 26 years old and had only done just over 34,000 kms before I got it. I added just over 8,000 kms in three and a half weeks.
The only problems were largely of my own making, the bent clutch lever, running out of fuel etc. It does need the clocks reattached as they shook loose the first day on the gravel, the coolant needs flushed, I replaced a tyre, and had an oil change done, but that's it. It did all those miles with no preparation at all, and now it sits in my cousins garage, waiting for the next trip. Just epic.
As with all plans it didn't quite work out that way and I was running around a bit trying to see everyone before I left, which I didn't quite manage.
I'm conscious that this blog may have left you with a really good impression of Canada so it's probably best that I warn you of some of the problems. You'll have picked up on the heat from reading through, but it's worth mentioning again. It was over 30 degrees more times than I care to remember, so if you like heat you'll love it, but for me, I could not stand outside even in the shade without sweating.
Another fundamental problem is salad. It's hard not to be offered it everywhere. It's not as bad as cheese but can be a bit draining. A typical conversation would go like:
Them (all of them): Would you like some salad?
Me: No thank you.
Them: Go on, it's very good.
Me: No (looking grumpy)
Them: Hmm ok, what about some mayonnaise?
Me: No (getting annoyed)
Them: Are you sure?
Me: Look pal, I just want to pay for my petrol!
This scene was obviously from a petrol station, but it happened everywhere. Nutters, but I guess they mean well.
Another problem is that Health and Safety has gone mad as evidenced by the sign in this picture.
Imagine the scenario where you are rolling up on some fools, but now have to hope they will hang around for two minutes while you assemble and load the weapon, before you blast them.
I just envisage a few practical problems with that so I'm not sure it will work.
Another problem is the animals. To be fair this is not Australia where the deadliest animals sneak up on you by slithering along the ground, or dropping from a silk web, or drag you down from under the water. These ones are right up in your face.
Imagine if you will that you've been told that you're going to a racetrack only to find it's been privately booked for the day. Now you have to hang around for your little sister, who is at a tea party. To top it all off up wanders a polar bear, and he doesn't want to be friends.
At this point it's important to note that I was out of emergency shortbread, but fortunately the bear could sense almost a dozen hyper young girls were about to come pouring into the lobby and decided to leg it.
One of the most common and deadly dangers is biker chicks. Lots have their own bikes and they will roll around on full dress Harleys in denim and leather, but it's not unusual to come back to your unattended bike and find them draped over it.
This gorgeous example is barely eighteen months old, but instinctively knew how to work the throttle. She is going to be so much trouble.
There is also the problem of very small astronauts running around. You rarely notice them until they are right upon you. So there you have it a balanced report. There was a day in Toronto, but when I got back down there the heat had gone up again and it was humid so I mostly hid in the shopping malls or the cinema. Cowboys and Aliens is ok, and Attack the Block is quite funny.
For one last adventure I shunned the $25 dollar convenient airport shuttle to wrestle my luggage along the subway system and then get a bus. It took 15 minutes longer, but only cost $3. Money well saved when I had to pay for the excess baggage at the airport. It would have been much more if they weighed my hand luggage or the bike jacket I'd stuff full of cameras, and external disk drives.
I may try and upload some videos in a future post if I can edit them well enough to be worth watching, but for now I'll leave you with the star of the show.
The Honda Magna V45, 26 years old and had only done just over 34,000 kms before I got it. I added just over 8,000 kms in three and a half weeks.
The only problems were largely of my own making, the bent clutch lever, running out of fuel etc. It does need the clocks reattached as they shook loose the first day on the gravel, the coolant needs flushed, I replaced a tyre, and had an oil change done, but that's it. It did all those miles with no preparation at all, and now it sits in my cousins garage, waiting for the next trip. Just epic.